Better Conversations: Are You Good At Having Conversations?

Has there ever been a time when conversations mattered so much? How we speak, when we speak, what we say, what we ask, how we listen, and how we respond?  

The answer is yes. They always have.  

Public conversations matter. Private conversations matter. Discussions that lead to change matter. The talks you have in your home matter. What you say to your kids matters. What you say to your spouse matters. What you speak about to your co-workers matters. What you highlight to your boss matters. What you post on social media matters? How you say things matters. Even what you don’t say, it matters too!  

Do you ever wish you could be better at conversations?  Me too.

The Bible is filled with wisdom on how to be better at conversations. Do a quick read through Proverbs, and your conversational intellect will grow. Paul uses a familiar illustration to cast vision for better conversations to the Jesus Followers in Colasse. (Ancient Asia Minor)

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Colossians 4:6

Paul says, if you are a Christian, then how you converse must be leading the way compared to the rest of the world, in grace and taste. This should be true of your conversations among each other, and if we read this verse in context, and among outsiders. Paul is addressing HOW we talk, and is saying that Jesus Follower’s shouldn’t just be good at having conversations, we should be the best.  

It’s very important that when Paul addresses how often, he says,”always.” Sometimes isn’t good enough. One mistake, and you could cause any conversation to taste, well, not very good.

Paul says there are two things your conversations should have.  

They should be full of grace.  What does that mean? Giving people a position of favor in your eyes, even if they don’t deserve it, especially if they do. Respect, honorable treatment, proper listening, an open mind, patience, and love just to name a few. Especially to those with different lifestyles, backgrounds, and views. 

They should be tasteful.  When someone speaks with you, they should be glad they did. After a conversation, people should walk away saying, “I really enjoyed that, it was better than normal. I have had conversations before, but this, this was different!”  Are your conversations flavored first with love (heart), then logic (head), baked in empathy?

Remember Jesus commands you to love your neighbor, and your neighbor is any other human being. One way you can love your neighbor is by being better at conversations.

Ever wish you knew how to start a casual conversation with anyone?  

Ever wish you knew how to have meaningful conversations? 

Ever wish you knew how to be more intentional at moving a conversation to the topic of faith?  

Looking for tips to be better at having any type of conversation? Found here

Interested in a guide that will help you have conversations on racial injustice?

I get it, conversations can be difficult. So, our team at Southside Church has put together a tool to help you be better at conversations with others. 

The goals, sample questions, and tips, we hope, will be some recipes to help your conversations be full of grace and taste.


-Tim Rives

Lead Pastor, Southside Church Henry County


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